按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
pretends she doesn’t speak English； but she’s actually really bad at
French and a huge slut。
N has this cute little gag where he buys two slices and he always
offers Claire one。 She holds onto it the whole time they’re talking
and finally takes a little weeny bit off the tip of the slice。 Then N
goes； “I can’t believe you did that； you’re eating my pizza！” and
swipes the thing out of her hands and eats the whole thing in like
two bites。 This makes Claire laugh so hard her boobs nearly pop
out of her shirt。 The L’Ecole girls all wear really tight clothes and
short skirts and high heels。 They’re like； the ho’s of the Upper East
Side school system。 N likes to flirt with them； and so far that’s as far
as it’s gone。 But if B leads him on any longer； he might start giving
Claire more than just a bite of his pizza。 This time； though； Claire
surprises him by asking if he’s heard about S 。 Claire claims to
have heard that S not only got pregnant last year； but that she
gave birth in France。 Her baby’s name is Jules and he is alive and
well and living in Marseilles。
As for D—well； he’s sitting outside in the Riverside Prep courtyard
again； reading poetry and eating PB and J。 I know that sounds
extremely sad； but don’t worry about D。 His time is ing。 Stay
tuned。
Sightings
K was seen returning a pink； army…print handbag at Barneys。
Personally； I thought the bag was cute。 But someone must have
talked her out of it。
You know you love me；
“Hey Nate。 It’s Serena。 I’m just calling to see what you’re up to。 I
thought maybe we could go out tonight； but you know what？ I’m
tired。 It’s only ten； but I think I’m going to bed。 I’ll see you this
weekend though； okay？ I can’t wait。 Love you。 Nighty…night。”
Serena hung up。 Her room felt very quiet。 Even Fifth Avenue was
still； except for the occasional passing taxi。
From where she sat on her big canopy bed； she could see the silver…
framed photograph of her family； taken in Greece when she was
twelve。 The captain of the sailboat they’d chartered had taken the
picture。 They were all in bathing suits； and her brother； Erik； who
was fourteen at the time； was making a big fart kiss on Serena’s
cheek while their parents looked on； laughing。 Serena had gotten
her period for the first time on that trip。 She’d been so
embarrassed； she couldn’t bear to tell her parents； but what was
she supposed to do； trapped on a boat？ They were anchored off the
island of Rhodes； and while their parents were snorkeling and
Serena and Erik were supposed to be having windsurfing lessons；
Erik had swum ashore； stolen a Vespa； and bought her some maxi
pads。 He came back with them in a little plastic bag； tied on top of
his head； her hero。
Serena had thrown her ruined underwear overboard。 They were
probably still there； stuck on a reef somewhere。
Now Erik was a freshman at Brown； and Serena never got to see
him。 He had been in France with her that summer； but they’d both
spent the whole time chasing or being chased by boys and girls； so
they’d never really had time to talk。
Serena picked up the phone again and pressed the speed…dial
button for her brother’s off…campus apartment。 The phone rang and
rang until finally the voicemail system picked up。
“If you would like to leave a message for Dillon； press one。 If you
would like to leave a message for Tim； press two。 If you would like
to leave a message for Drew； press three。 If you would like to leave
a message for Erik； press four。”
Serena pressed four and then hesitated。 “ 。 。 。 Hey 。 。 。 it’s Serena。
Sorry I haven’t called in a while。 But you could have called me too；
you big jerk。 I was stuck up in Ridgefield； bored out of my mind；
until this weekend； and now I’m back in the city。 I had my first day
of school today。 It was kind of strange。 Actually it sucked。 Everyone
is 。 。 。 everything is 。 。 。 I don’t know 。 。 。 it’s weird。 。 。 。 Anyway； call
me。 I miss your hairy ass。 I’ll send you a care…package as soon as I
get a chance。 Love you。 Bye。”
“You’re so full of shit； Dan；” Jenny Humphrey told her brother。 They
were sitting at the kitchen table in their large and crumbling tenth…
floor； four…bedroom West End Avenue apartment。 It was a beautiful
old place with twelve…foot ceilings； lots of sunny windows； big walk…
in closets； and huge bathtubs with feet； but it hadn’t been
renovated since the 1940s。 The walls were waterstained and
cracked； and the wood floors were scratched and dull。 Ancient；
mammoth dust bunnies had gathered in the corners and along the
baseboards like moss。 Once in a while Jenny and Dan’s father； Rufus
Humphrey； hired a cleaning service to scrub the place down； and
their enormous cat； Marx； kept the cockroaches in order； but most
of the time their home felt like a cozy； neglected attic。 It was the
kind of place where you’d expect to find lost treasures like ancient
photographs； vintage shoes； or a bone from last year’s Christmas
dinner。
Jenny was eating half a grapefruit and drinking a cup of peppermint
tea。 Ever since she’d gotten her period last spring； she’d been
eating less and less。 Everything she ate went straight to her boobs；
anyway。 Dan worried about his little sister’s eating habits； but Jenny
was as spunky and energetic as ever； so what did he know？ For
instance； he didn’t know that Jenny bought a toasted； buttered；
chocolate…chip scone almost every day on her way to school at a
little gourmet deli on Broadway。
Not exactly a great strategy for breast reduction。
Dan was eating an Entenmann’s chocolate donut—his second—and
sipping instant coffee with Coffee…mate and four teaspoons of sugar。
He liked sugar and caffeine； which was probably part of the reason
why his hands shook。 Dan wasn’t into being healthy。 He liked to live
on the edge。
While he ate； Dan was studying Vanessa Abrams’s script for her
short film； the film he was supposed to star in。 He kept reading the
same line； over and over； like a mantra： Life is fragile and absurd。
“Tell me you don’t care about Serena van der Woodsen being back；”
Jenny challenged Dan。 She put a piece of grapefruit in her mouth
and sucked on it。 Then she stuck her fingers in her mouth； pulled
out the white pulpy skin stuff； and put it on her plate。 “You should
see her；” she went on。 “She looks so pletely cool。 It’s like she
has this whole new look。 I don’t mean her clothes； it’s her face。 She
looks older； but it’s not like wrinkles or anything。 It’s like she’s Kate
Moss or some model who’s like； been everywhere and seen
everything and e out on the other side。 She looks like she’s
totally； like； experienced。”
Jenny waited for her brother to respond； but he was just staring into
his coffee cup。
Life is fragile and absurd。
“Don’t you even want to see her？” Jenny asked。
Dan thought about what he’d heard Chuck Bass say about Serena。
He hadn’t wanted to believe any of it； but if Serena looked as
experienced as Jenny said； maybe what Chuck said was true。 Maybe
Serena really was the sluttiest； druggiest； most venereally diseased
girl in New York。
Dan shrugged his shoulders and pointed at the pile of grapefruit
carcasses on Jenny’s plate。 “That is so foul；” he said。 “Can’t you just
eat a Pop…Tart or something； like a normal person？”
“What’s wrong with grapefruit？” Jenny said。 “It’s refreshing。”
“Watching you eat it like that isn’t。 It’s disgusting；” Dan said。 He
stuffed the rest of his donut in his mouth and licked the chocolate
off his fingers； being careful not to smudge any on his script。
“Don’t look； then；” said Jenny。 “Anyway； you didn’t answer my
question。”
Dan looked up。 “What question？”
Jenny put her elbows on the table and leaned forward。 “About
Serena；” she said。 “I know you want to see her。”
Dan looked back down at his script and shrugged。 “Whatever；” he
said。
“Yeah； whatever；” said Jenny； rolling her eyes。 “Look； there’s this
party the Friday after next。 It’s some big fancy benefit thing to save
the peregrine falcons that li